Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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