then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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