Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
