Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
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She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
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you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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