all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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