there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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