Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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