I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
