Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
