i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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