then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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