Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
