dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
