did you get engaged???
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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