booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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