That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
