TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
