Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
