then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
