So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
