When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
