walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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