i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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