Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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