i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Still dying that you shit outside
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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