in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
