I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
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