I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
