considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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