Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
