It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
