My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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