I showed him my bush... on skype.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
