You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
