Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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