We named our party play list daddy issues
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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