I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
