Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't deserve a penis
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
