I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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