Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
