I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
