yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
