you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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