we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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