she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I am naked and annoyed.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
