i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
