i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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