well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
