We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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