its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
