I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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