google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
