guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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