we're blogging at a bar
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i love accidental penises.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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