3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
