once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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