I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
