so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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