Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
