She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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