I must be too annoying 4 u.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
