are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
